Everyday i will dread the beginning of the day at work. You see, i really suffer during my Home Visits with ‘Yuppie’ (not her real name).
Being a woman who is my mother’s age, she certainly acts like she is 12 yrs old.
For the first month it was still bearable but lately i find myself trying not to ‘roll my eyes’ in front of her. So i will do it in my heart or ‘roll my eyes’ when i turn away.
Every 5 mins she will let out a croakaious burp. Sometimes it will go on and on for about few hours. On top of that she has this fasting regime, which she claims is to remind herself about being hungry. Lunch is anytime from 12-2pm. But often by 3pm, she continues to do Home Visits and dun seem remember that I AM NOT FASTING with her!
But fasting for her does not include, desserts, sweets, cakes, chocolates. i think fasting is to help her burp more and she likes that.
I always have to give hints like,"so when is the last case?"
One time, she was having a burping fit in the taxi. Before that she had told me to go eat while she does the HOme Visits. I was so totally disgusted by her burping which sounded alot like regurgitating, i almost became very keen for Home Visit as i had lost my appetite.
She came out of the Taxi exclaiming," I dun feel well. Think i wanna vomit." (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)
Thankfully, i still had a strong stomach. And ate my lunch without throwing up. I tried very hard to block images of her burping off my mind.
She is really a wierd character.
We were walking along the corridor of the one room flats and i heard humming. I tried to hear if it came from the flats and i realised that it came from her. And she was swinging her arms while humming.
After taking patient’s blood pressure she will say," Your BP is berry berry good!"
(Eyes Roll)
SOmetimes when we take the lift…she says," Ah ya aye ya aye! sssss…. so hot!"
(eyes roll)
Her laughter gives me a migraine! Its like contained gas let out. One , two, three! AH HA HA HA HA. I think if the fire engine breaks down…she can find a job there for fire siren
One day she tells me in the Taxi, that she dun like to talk much and would only talk when she needs to. SOmetimes she would go to a corner and be quite.
But for someone who ‘dun like to talk’ , she is very LOUD!
Often when she tries to be funny, she will let out a rattle laugh. Dunno whats a rattle laugh? You know when you wanna laugh and you gotta control yourself and your throat lets out a "Kmmmmm". Which sounds like a snore. We tried imitating her once….but it made our throats sore.
to that i also made my eyes roll
She has this big facination with doing PR (inserting your finger into the asshole to check for faeces)
Personally i feel if possible, all invasive procedures should be kept at minimal. Cos its not very pleasant for the patient. Almost everytime she does Home Visit, she cant resist to dig her finger into someones’ ass.
A normal person should shit at least than 3 days once. So if the patient have not shit after 3 days, you listen for bowel sounds. Advise to eat laxatives.
One partucular patient she did PR and was given laxatives to clear her bowels. She also has piles, so PR would be painful.
2 days later we visited patient again and guess what…her fingers were itching for a poke. She did a PR again.
My goodness, give the dying patient a break! She did not eat a single meal the last 2 days and had cleared her bowels 2 days ago. And she has laxatives to help clear again
(eyes roll)
So every morning i am hoping for something to happen to escape doing home visits with her.
Often she packs her bag, walk pass my desk and says,"i am leaving in 5 mins." (sometimes i dunno if she is talking to me or mumbling to herself)
She has since given me a handful of my own patients to see and i am planning my Home Visits enough so that she wun follow me. On days i dun have any Home Visits, i panic
Cos ‘EYes rolling’ has not been enough to relieve my screams inside.
And everyday i will be counting till the times ends.
And for today its CNY eve half day. 1hr 45mins more
