More than i can take

In the beginning, i was given a bowl of rice to eat. It was full of nutritious stuff and all the things i like.

The gravy with a little bit of fatty and fried. Just the way i like it.

It was affordable and pleasing to the stomach. I thought that this was heaven.

Just as i was about to finish my meal, the bowl was refilled again. But this time, with lesser rice and more of the things i like. I was grateful that the stall owner was so generous. So i tried my best to eat what i was given. The stall owner sat there looking at me with excitement as i continue to eat his food. With every mouth, he asked," Is it nice?" And i would just nod my head.

By this time, i was already so full that my stomach could burst. What was heaven turned into a nightmare when the stall owner filled up my bowl once again. This time with only rice and gravy and without the things i like. I asked him to stop as i can no longer eat anymore. But then he asked," So you don’t think that my food is nice?" And before i could explain…He added," if its nice, you can surely eat more."

Somehow, i gave in and tried my best to eat it. While i ate, he watched closely.

To my horror, when i was reaching to the bottom of the bowl, i saw him preparing to get more food. I cried,"Please! i cant eat anymore!." Talking and trying to control the urge to vomit.

Instead of listening to me, he said," I have no one to buy my food and i have got many mouths to feed. If you dont buy my food, who will? Would you want to be responsible for killing my family?"

I cant believe what kind of mess i had got myself into. And before i could walk off, he started to talk loudly to the passerby," Nowadays youngsters are so evil. They eat and do not pay. After eating so much,then she tells me she cant afford to pay! Poor me! I have got many mouths to feed and she wants to cheat me of $3!"

Passerbys started surrounding me to point and criticise. I looked at the stall owner with disbelief.

He then added more into my bowl and said," You eat a little more and i will only charge you $10 for all that you have eaten. I will forgive you and forget that you were trying to cheat me of my money."

As i ate, the passerbys looked and were praising the stall owner for being so forgiving to this ‘evil’ youngster.

When i was finished, i gave the stall owner $10 and ran to the toilet to vomit. I will never go to that stall again and like those thing that i liked again.

I have got enough of ‘petty freaks’

I dunno why this is so…but i really think that there is a genuine reason why people fall in and out or relationships and are unable to stay into one. 1) There is something really wrong with them 2) There is something really wrong with what they want

I classify these spinsters and bachelors into "LCNs". There are very deprived of affection, attention and simply cannot stand everyone in the whole world.

There is a difference between waiting for the right one and being unable to find the right one. These people have the most eccentric moods, that they cannot even live with themselves. They will even wanna scratch their own eyes out.

I met up with a few of these people is my life and will choose to stay FAR away from them.

My first encounter was someone i knew in secondary school. She was always angry about something that, all of us got tired of even bothering with finding out why she is angry. We gave her a nickname ’small gas" or ‘xiao qi’ in mandarin. Being ’small gas’ was her daily affair. Sometimes over tiny matters blown out of proportion.

Then a form teacher who realised that we were closer with the music teacher. One day, she came into class and started crying. She was very angry that we did not respect her as a form teacher. But what has got our choice in liking a teacher better, got to do with respect? I told my mum about it. And she asked me,"Is your teacher unmarried?" i said yes and she explains that somehow most unmarried spinsters somehow adopt wierd characters. I cannot understand her reactions but i do agree that she was wierd.

Later on, i had a friend whom was unfathomable. Initially it seemed cool to be so individulistic. But after many years, its becoming tiring to have to be ever cautious of what i say to her. Or having to guess when she is angry. Cos even after many years of knowing her…she is still unfathomable.

they say women’s heart is as deep as the ocean. she is really a classic example. If even i as a lady cannot understand her, even if she were to find the man of her dreams…he will go crazy trying to understand her.

These people have to so touchy about everything in the world. The way people talk or when people block their way.

They would say they yearn for conversation. They are actually soft inside and not as strong as how people see them to be. They are lonely at times and need company.

But yet…they were the ones that choose to be private. They do not like it when people tell them whats wrong. They do not choose to open up or approach others. Can we read minds?

I had a boss who thinks workers are dispensible. If one is no good, you can always find another. The market is out there for employers. She is a ‘LCN". Immersed into her work. No personal life. Still stays with her mother and working area is messy like hell. She changes staffs less than 3 months. I looked into her staff address book. Within a year, she had changed about 10 over staffs. Mostly staying not more than 1/2 a year. Needless to say, i was next to go too.

At one stage, i was so afraid that one day i would become a "LCN" too. Eccentric. Insufferable. A torture to the people around.

When you age, you should age gracefully. Just like how some elderly can be so stubborn and shun people around them. And there are other elderly who can be so approachable and would draw people to care for them.

These ‘LCNs" have not aged gracefully. They experienced setbacks, disappointments and betrayal. They are filled with bitterness and anger with the whole world. They have hardened their hearts to everyone around them. Please lah. Give the people around you a break. GROW UP!

A lesson i have learnt so far. To leave these people alone. Cos there are too many other things in my life that is worth sacrificing my time for. And not to follow these "LCNs" into their neverending cycle of angry-happy-ignore-angry-happy-ignore

Heaven is so real

Drowning in my own misery of a flu bug, i had dragged myself around my day.

I got up this taxi and told the Malay driver where i was heading. The next thing he asked me was,"Miss, are you a Christian or a Buddhist?"

I replied," A Christian."

Then he explained that a passenger had left a book and he thinks it may be suitable for me. But after searching around the taxi…he could not find it.

He replied dismayed," It is stolen by someone."

I added," isn’t it good that someone has taken it and benefited from the book?" He smiled with agreement

For a moment i thought this taxi driver was trying to be funny.

We were silent for a while then he suddenly says," Its about a girl getting closer to God."

I asked if he meant the book and he says yes. Being very curious how he knew the contents of the book, i asked," uncle, you read the book?"

He says happily," only half of it and not the whole book. The title is Heaven is so real."

Knowing that discussing this topic in detail is a no-no in this country. So i let the matter rest. But i was surprised that despite the limitations, the gospel still found its way. He was obviously challenged to read the book and even read half of it. He was not even ashamed to proclaim the contents of the book.

I remember how my mother used to ‘litter’ Daily Bread on bus stops or bus seats. I always scold her for littering, but she says that she is doing it intentionally. So any stranger who picks it up, may read it and be motivated.

At that moment, i was thinking if the owner of that book did it on purpose. Somehow it has fulfilled some purpose and will definitely bless the person who ’stole’ the book. And even the ‘flu-bugged’ me, who has heard it and am reminded that "Heaven IS Indeed real"

There’s still hope for maids

On my way home, i was waiting for the lift and the ground level.

There was a CHIJ school girl who was with her maid. This girl could be around 10 years old. She said she needed 20 cents and wanted to borrow from her maid.

She started complaining that her daddy only gives her $1 a day and she cannot afford to pay 20 cents. However, she promised to return her maid the 20 cents later.

And the maid’s response…."Hiyah i give you the 20 cents lah." (with a grin on her face)

The girl replies,"Thank you so much…." and went on and on to complain about the tiny allowance her daddy gives her

In this century of scary maid and employer stories, it is still refreshing to see such sincere and close-knitted relationship between maids and their employer’s family

When the law restricts itself

The government comes out with 101 rules to help the less fortunate and the needy. In every society, the obvious poorest will benefit from the 101 rules.

But what about those who are caught in between?
When you are penniless, have no home and no children, the societies’s law are all out to help you.
What if you are penniless, have no home but have children who refuse to support you? The society’s 101 rules cannot help you

So when such cases are penniless and have no home, what can they live on or accomodate in?
What if you are left with minimal savings, have a home but your children refuse to support you? The society’s 101 rules also cannot help you

So when such cases are met with a crisis, who can you turn to? The society’s 101 rules cannot help you

Are rules to help or to restrict? If rules are to help, who are they helping? If it is to restrict, who are they restricting? If you need help, who will determined what kind of help is genuine?

When you are caught in an ‘in between’ situation, where can you go for help?

Many elderly are facing this sitution now. They are living with bare essentials and do not have the luxury of strong financial support from children. Some do not even have 3 meals a day. They are contented with little because they only have little.

Some yearn for companionship but have poor family dynamics. They would depend on themselves or are lucky when some kind stranger would come and lend a helping hand.

You can be that kind stranger