Do you feel fortunate?

When people say that opposites attracts, its not so much of the attraction. But for me, i guess its about having some sort of balance in life. 2 opposite sides of the coins cannot live without each other but they do have different sides to what they see.

I get depressed when i enter Paragon. There are alot of things i can afford but would probably think for a long time before i decide to make a purchase. $600 for a bag? $300 for a pair of shoes?
Then i would see Indonesian Tai-tais waiting for taxi with bags and bags of Miu Miu, Prada, Salvatore, Gucci. I feel poor.

I am never the sort that would window browse. I only browse when i want to buy something, or have the intention of buying. Paragon obviously, would never be a place i would browse.

My husband on the other hand, loves to browse.

One day we were window shopping at Paragon. And i felt the 'poor' mood getting to me. I turned to look at him and trying to see if he felt the same way too. To my surprise, he seems to be really enjoying himself and has no clue of the 'poor' mood that i am experiencing. To him i guess, these are just stuff. He just likes to see them. Don't have to buy them. He enjoys rummaging his hands through a pile of discounted items. Snatching for the last pair of sale shoes. All these is like 'low class' activities to me.

But strangely, when i saw how happy he was, i felt fortunate to have a husband who is not affected by my the 'poor' mood. I felt fortunate and forgot about the 'poor' mood.

Recently with all the baby's cost, Dr's appts, my expensive food craves...I don't see him complaining about feeling 'poor' and having to be on a tight budget. We have discussed about having new baby bed and a 2nd hand pram.

One weekday night, I had a craving for fish head curry. He made mention of it being $15 and the price has just been increased to $16. I remember when we were dating, he made a rule that we will only try 'good food' once a month. Somehow i felt guilty that the fish head curry was considered 'good food' and we just had something nice during the weekend. We are not poor but its just that my husband likes to be thrifty with luxurious spending.

I saw him slurping the curry away. And my mind drifted off to the 'poor' mood again. I looked around our house.Our first house. Comparing to those who has bungalows, condominiums...this is a humble home. Sigh

And i wondered if my husband secretly feels financially burdened by the new baby coming.

I said,"Dear, can i ask you something?"

He replied,"Yeah, sure."

"Do you feel fortunate?" i asked.

He responded," I should be asking you that question. Your husband cooks dinner for you now and does the laundry, and clears the dishes. And buys you curry fish head..."

I laughed," Hey, i am asking you a question. You don't get to ask me another question unless you reply me."

He gave in and said,"Of cos i feel fortunate, everytime you wanna eat fish head curry, i can buy it for you. What's wrong, you don't feel fortunate?"

Like the Paragon incident, his untainted mood had made me feel better. And i told him of cos i felt fortunate.

Somehow opposites are useful. If my husband had felt as 'poor' as i do, we would both be feeling depressed.

I would wish for the 'poor' mood to never cloud me again. I would wish for the baby in me to feel fortunate. That though mummy and daddy cant afford the sky, we would be able to provide enough for him to feel fed and clothed. And safe in a nice home that we have made for ourselves.