Let me tell you. When you do me a favour, i am not bound by your laws. If you have agreed to do it for me, i am not indebted to you.
You do not start giving me rules and regulations on how to follow that favour. If its so difficult to hand out that favour, i rather you not do it. I did not beg you. Which means that i can simply find another way without your help. You are not at a upper hand, i am.
I do not like to be boxed in by your favour and forget that i have the option of freedom. I do not like to feel threatened by your rules and fear that i may lose that favour.
Lastly, do not think for a second that i am sitting here missing your favour and hope somehow you will turn around. Cos truthfully, you offered and i accepted. I am not bound by a contract. I was already happy with my own plans. Your favour only came as an extra bonus. And if that bonus has become so unbearable, it has lost its satisfactory of being enjoyed.
28 April 2010
26 April 2010
Do you feel fortunate?
When people say that opposites attracts, its not so much of the attraction. But for me, i guess its about having some sort of balance in life. 2 opposite sides of the coins cannot live without each other but they do have different sides to what they see.
I get depressed when i enter Paragon. There are alot of things i can afford but would probably think for a long time before i decide to make a purchase. $600 for a bag? $300 for a pair of shoes?
Then i would see Indonesian Tai-tais waiting for taxi with bags and bags of Miu Miu, Prada, Salvatore, Gucci. I feel poor.
I am never the sort that would window browse. I only browse when i want to buy something, or have the intention of buying. Paragon obviously, would never be a place i would browse.
My husband on the other hand, loves to browse.
One day we were window shopping at Paragon. And i felt the 'poor' mood getting to me. I turned to look at him and trying to see if he felt the same way too. To my surprise, he seems to be really enjoying himself and has no clue of the 'poor' mood that i am experiencing. To him i guess, these are just stuff. He just likes to see them. Don't have to buy them. He enjoys rummaging his hands through a pile of discounted items. Snatching for the last pair of sale shoes. All these is like 'low class' activities to me.
But strangely, when i saw how happy he was, i felt fortunate to have a husband who is not affected by my the 'poor' mood. I felt fortunate and forgot about the 'poor' mood.
Recently with all the baby's cost, Dr's appts, my expensive food craves...I don't see him complaining about feeling 'poor' and having to be on a tight budget. We have discussed about having new baby bed and a 2nd hand pram.
One weekday night, I had a craving for fish head curry. He made mention of it being $15 and the price has just been increased to $16. I remember when we were dating, he made a rule that we will only try 'good food' once a month. Somehow i felt guilty that the fish head curry was considered 'good food' and we just had something nice during the weekend. We are not poor but its just that my husband likes to be thrifty with luxurious spending.
I saw him slurping the curry away. And my mind drifted off to the 'poor' mood again. I looked around our house.Our first house. Comparing to those who has bungalows, condominiums...this is a humble home. Sigh
And i wondered if my husband secretly feels financially burdened by the new baby coming.
I said,"Dear, can i ask you something?"
He replied,"Yeah, sure."
"Do you feel fortunate?" i asked.
He responded," I should be asking you that question. Your husband cooks dinner for you now and does the laundry, and clears the dishes. And buys you curry fish head..."
I laughed," Hey, i am asking you a question. You don't get to ask me another question unless you reply me."
He gave in and said,"Of cos i feel fortunate, everytime you wanna eat fish head curry, i can buy it for you. What's wrong, you don't feel fortunate?"
Like the Paragon incident, his untainted mood had made me feel better. And i told him of cos i felt fortunate.
Somehow opposites are useful. If my husband had felt as 'poor' as i do, we would both be feeling depressed.
I would wish for the 'poor' mood to never cloud me again. I would wish for the baby in me to feel fortunate. That though mummy and daddy cant afford the sky, we would be able to provide enough for him to feel fed and clothed. And safe in a nice home that we have made for ourselves.
I get depressed when i enter Paragon. There are alot of things i can afford but would probably think for a long time before i decide to make a purchase. $600 for a bag? $300 for a pair of shoes?
Then i would see Indonesian Tai-tais waiting for taxi with bags and bags of Miu Miu, Prada, Salvatore, Gucci. I feel poor.
I am never the sort that would window browse. I only browse when i want to buy something, or have the intention of buying. Paragon obviously, would never be a place i would browse.
My husband on the other hand, loves to browse.
One day we were window shopping at Paragon. And i felt the 'poor' mood getting to me. I turned to look at him and trying to see if he felt the same way too. To my surprise, he seems to be really enjoying himself and has no clue of the 'poor' mood that i am experiencing. To him i guess, these are just stuff. He just likes to see them. Don't have to buy them. He enjoys rummaging his hands through a pile of discounted items. Snatching for the last pair of sale shoes. All these is like 'low class' activities to me.
But strangely, when i saw how happy he was, i felt fortunate to have a husband who is not affected by my the 'poor' mood. I felt fortunate and forgot about the 'poor' mood.
Recently with all the baby's cost, Dr's appts, my expensive food craves...I don't see him complaining about feeling 'poor' and having to be on a tight budget. We have discussed about having new baby bed and a 2nd hand pram.
One weekday night, I had a craving for fish head curry. He made mention of it being $15 and the price has just been increased to $16. I remember when we were dating, he made a rule that we will only try 'good food' once a month. Somehow i felt guilty that the fish head curry was considered 'good food' and we just had something nice during the weekend. We are not poor but its just that my husband likes to be thrifty with luxurious spending.
I saw him slurping the curry away. And my mind drifted off to the 'poor' mood again. I looked around our house.Our first house. Comparing to those who has bungalows, condominiums...this is a humble home. Sigh
And i wondered if my husband secretly feels financially burdened by the new baby coming.
I said,"Dear, can i ask you something?"
He replied,"Yeah, sure."
"Do you feel fortunate?" i asked.
He responded," I should be asking you that question. Your husband cooks dinner for you now and does the laundry, and clears the dishes. And buys you curry fish head..."
I laughed," Hey, i am asking you a question. You don't get to ask me another question unless you reply me."
He gave in and said,"Of cos i feel fortunate, everytime you wanna eat fish head curry, i can buy it for you. What's wrong, you don't feel fortunate?"
Like the Paragon incident, his untainted mood had made me feel better. And i told him of cos i felt fortunate.
Somehow opposites are useful. If my husband had felt as 'poor' as i do, we would both be feeling depressed.
I would wish for the 'poor' mood to never cloud me again. I would wish for the baby in me to feel fortunate. That though mummy and daddy cant afford the sky, we would be able to provide enough for him to feel fed and clothed. And safe in a nice home that we have made for ourselves.
22 April 2010
Those pure in heart
Its often easy to be sad with someone who is sad.
But sometimes it seems to be more difficult to be happy for someone who is happy about something.
You may think...
1) So what? No big deal. I have something better. And you don't see me boasting.
2) Why him and not me? Why can't i have it too?
3) It seems like something to be sad about and not to be happy about
I have met people who are often criticising others. Even if you bring good news to them, you walk away feeling like it has become bad news.
They have a heart that is clogged with mud. They are unable to be happy for others when others are happy.
"What's there to be happy about having a salary increment? My salary is so much higher than hers"
"Fancy having a house warming in 'this' house? Its so small. Whats there to celebrate?"
"You are so happy you are successful in your career now. But i will never forget the child who stole money from mum's wallet"
Those who are pure of heart can see God
I can understand why.
Those who learn to see the good in everything. Especially someone else's joy, is able to see the goodness in every situation. Even if it may not be your joy. You see others happy. Though you may not fully comprehend their reason for being so happy, it takes a pure of heart to say,"I am happy you are happy" and MEAN IT.
Many in the society has becomed Thin Skin and Thick Hearts.
They are so easily affected by how their image has been ruined. And how they must uphold their image. The big house, my family must appear happy in front of other, do you know my shirt cost $500?
On the other hand, their hearts have grown cold towards others. The beggars on the streets are too dirty, the little boy who fell was too careless or your own aging parent should be taking care of themselves, why do they keep bugging me?
Be Thin Heart and Thick Skinned.
Its ok if you gotta get dirty helping e less fortunate. Who cares? I feel good inside. I get sensitive not with what others say, but i get sensitive for the misfortunate. I ache easily when i see someone in need.
Sometimes, the most precious thing is something hidden. If will only be revealed to those who are true to you. Storing for yourself today, precious memories of being Thin heart. Helping, loving, encouraging...
19 April 2010
Memories of the past
One of the several stories my mother would like to repeat to everyone she meets, about the embarassing or the funny things my brother and i have done when we were kids.
Two days ago she spoke about this story which i will share with you.
My Uncle Val had struck lottery and brought the whole family along for a treat. He told my brother and i that we would go to the Toy 'R' Us at Parway Parade, and we were both given a trolley each. And told that we could have anything we wanted. My parents, Uncle Val and Auntie Marilyn will come back after half an hour.
Since young, i've seen my cousin having 5 - 10 Barbie Dolls. Which i will eye enviously but never having the courage to ask my parents to get one for me. We were poor and could not afford such things. Sometimes i wished that my cousin would get sick of one of her dolls and hand it over to me.
So obviously my first thought was to get my very own Barbie Doll. And my brother dropped a minature toy car into his trolley. I had a Barbie Doll in mine and he had his toy car in his.
Being very happy with our choices, we went to the computer games corner to play.
When the adults came back, my aunt exclaimed,"After going away for so long, you only found one thing to put into your trolley?"
We were confused with her question. Because when Uncle Val said 'anything' , we were very happy that we could get one toy of our wish.
The adults started laughing. And my auntie brought me to the Barbie Doll section. And dropped a couple of Barbie Doll clothes and a Barbie Doll travel house into the trolley. I was speechless.
"You mean i can have all these?"
I cant really remember what my brother end up having. But i remember that day to be the most rewarding day of my childhood.
That ends the story that my mum would repeat often.
I tried to recall, what became of my priced posession the Barbie Doll?. Strangely, i actually gave it away. Primary 6, the class teacher told us we are collecting some toys for the oprhanage. She mentioned,"There are somethings you think you may need need but others may need it more. These children have no one who will buy nice toys for them"
The first thing that came into my mind was Barbie. I felt that i had been given the chance to enjoy Barbie when i am sure they would have felt like me. Yearning for one.
The next day i brought my doll and placed it into the donation bin. Barbie was looking at me the whole day in class. I remembering feeling a sense of regret. "Should i take it back?"
Bravely i made the decision to let go of my regrets and give Barbie to someone who needs her more.
That ends MY story of the Barbie Doll. And sometimes, its useful for my mother to repeat some of her stories. Out of the 100 times she repeated this story, only now i remembered the part where i gave Barbie away.
Kudos to the little me.
14 April 2010
Comfortable being pregnant
The comfort i get, getting past my first trimester is not a better appetite.
Or less visits to the 24-hr clinic.
I feel used to being pregnant. Comfortable with my body, the 2 pillows i sleep on every night and having people probbing at my stomach.
I hope that some of my baby's nonchalance about this noisy world will rub off on me.
Maybe its the relief of all the waste in my intestines, i feel enlightened and happy.
Someone told me that i actually begin to have that pregnant glow on my face now.
I have not thought intensively about child birth and having sleepless nights with a crying baby. I think i can handle it. I may not score full marks but i will get through it. I know it.
Or less visits to the 24-hr clinic.
I feel used to being pregnant. Comfortable with my body, the 2 pillows i sleep on every night and having people probbing at my stomach.
I hope that some of my baby's nonchalance about this noisy world will rub off on me.
Maybe its the relief of all the waste in my intestines, i feel enlightened and happy.
Someone told me that i actually begin to have that pregnant glow on my face now.
I have not thought intensively about child birth and having sleepless nights with a crying baby. I think i can handle it. I may not score full marks but i will get through it. I know it.
13 April 2010
Bored
I have been so bored lately that despite squeezing some creative juices out of my brain, there is nothing i can create.
Maybe i should just agree to having a confinement lady, just so i can write about it here. She will end up begging for me to stop following her around with a pen and paper.
Jotting down her every action.
With 'spy baby' in hand.
And probably uncle cat for help too.
Maybe i should just agree to having a confinement lady, just so i can write about it here. She will end up begging for me to stop following her around with a pen and paper.
Jotting down her every action.
With 'spy baby' in hand.
And probably uncle cat for help too.
12 April 2010
My decision on using a confinement lady
I was very much against using a confinement lady. As a maid cost $400 per mth. But a confinement lady cost $1000 a month. And i dun see how one deserves to be paid that much for mediocre task performed. And still gotta suffer with her lousiness or personality clashes.
After reading this person's blog...i was more sure
Conclusion of my Confinement
Lots of friend ask me the question:”How’s the nanny?”
Seriously was way too earlyto tell you guys how’s her performance.. Overall was quite OK.. Till today…
1. I realize she cook quite less dish for me to eat.. For this point I can accept… Cause she won’t know how many dish I want to eat.. Solution: So I told her yesterday.. Every time she can try cook three dishes for me to eat…
2. She overcook one of my soup… Which I bought from PeiLing… Hmm… What I concern is not the soup is the tools.. I wonder did she spoil it
3. The way she bath with E Zen is a bit too clumsy.. I still yet to set it by myself… This is according to my mum description.. I think will have to go see the way she help E Zen take bath soon
4. She got memory problem.. She often don’t remember what she had told me… Why I say so?A. She told me that she will prepare the water for me to take bath on Day 9 around 12pm.. End up i wait till 4pm she still didn’t prepare and around 4pm suddenly rain.. So there goes muly bathing section… B. I told her lots of time to help E Zen take bath with the med I bought from PeiLing.. She keep forgetting and keep telling me that tomorrow will take… She postpone it for three days d…C. She told me that I can’t eat cabage… End up.. Guess what she fried mee hoon with cabage for me… Of course I didn’t eat the cabage… I just put it aside… Then I ask her:” aunty I tot u said I can’t eat cabage?”. Guess what she answer me??she said:”oh cook already then can eat..” I was like.. Of course all the vege you have to cook only I can eat ma… Faint… Now I doing confinement won’t be able to eat raw food also…
5. Another problem that she have is.. She like to find excuses… Once we found the problem she made.. We tell them.. She will have an excuses for it.. Of course we get to see that is an excuses… But still…
6. She let me eat Kaya bun for snack… As what I know I can’t eat any eggs but Kaya is made of eggs right.. And with coconut as well… Faint…
7. Very forgetful… Always forgot to add alcohol in the soup that she cook for me…
8. The dishes that she cook not much variety… Always cook the same thing.. Imagine you eat the same dish for 28 days… I tot people who full with experience will know how to cook very well?
9. Always didn’t wash the tools that she used after she cook… Not sure if she’s forgetful or lazy.
10. Very clumsy… Always open the door till very loud.. There’s one time she even use the leg to kick the door… Faint… I know both of her hand taking things.. But she can actually put them aside and open the door first instead of just kick the door like that…
11. Very dirty in terms of taking care baby. One of the day I heard that ezen just past motion.. So wanted to pass him to the confinement lady to change his diaper.. End up the confinement lady wasn’t in there.. So I decided to change for him myself.. End up when I open the diaper guess what I saw in there? I saw a tissue paper in the diaper… When the confinement lady get in the I straight ask her why she put there? Guess what’s her answer? She said:“oh cause just now I see he shit not much so I pit the tissue in.. Else wasted the pampers…”
Then I replied.. Can’t like that.. Cause baby skin will get infected.. How can youdo that? Can’t because of want save the pampers money and do it that way…
Then she keep her mouth shut… Really want faint
12. She keep listen to the phone… Even when she helping ezen wearing cloth half way she will just put ezen aside and answer the phone… Now I know why ezen always sneeze after took bath..
Besides she like to find excuses.. Even the agent who I sign with… She likes to find excuses as well… When I asked my mum if I can eat Kaya or not.. She said can’t… Then I tell her just now the aunty let me eat Kaya bun.. She was quite pissed and called the agent directly… Here’s how the conversation goes:Mummy: hi agent A, want ask you if my daughter can eat any cabage?Agent A: oh cannot eat cabage ooMummy: oh then what about Kaya? Agent A: of course cannot…Mummy: OMG… Then why your confinement lady let my daughter eat this two thing?
Guess what she said then
Agent A: oh maybe the confinement lady thinks that your daughter situation is ok to eat those thing d…
What a lame excuses… Then she start push it to the confinement lady…
Agent A: we already told her and train her on what to let you and do not let you eat… We won’t know how she do it during ur confinement time… You must let her know…
I was like… Err… Ok… I can’t tahan already so I take over the phone and tell her
Cherrie: OK now I didn’t say that I want to complain anything.. I’m fine with the confinement lady… Just that I dun understand that why she let me eat those things that I not suppose to eat
Agent A: oh if u see those things that you can’t eat.. You just tell her ma..
CHERRIE: come on.. Who do I know I can’t eat those thing… I tot you all are professional and will know what I can’t eat… End up… Now she let me eat cabage and gave me lame excuses… So can I still trust your professionality?? Plus how am I suppose to know what I can or can’t eat??
Seriously other than that… She keep ask me if I want to drink MILO or not… Which I learn from the seminar I attended at Daveleen – Pei Ling while I’m still pregnant… Dr. PeiLing told us not to drink miLO that often… End up the confinement lady keep ask me want to drink MILo or not… Where’s the consistancy? Of course I didn’t tell the confinement lady what I’ve learn from the seminar… I just keep quite and told her not to prepare MILO for me…
Besides that… I still remember there’s one case… She keep telling me that we have to buy extra Chinese herb for her to cook for me… This one I’m quite confuse.. Not to say that is not good that I get extra Chinese herb other than those I bought from Daveleen… But I remember clearly the agent and the boss told me that is more than enough to just have those things we bought from them…
So I asked the confinement lady.. I tot they said is more than enough to have those herbs I bought from your company? Then she told me.. Of course not enough… If just have those herbs from our company.. Won’t be enough…
Hmm… Maybe cause my case a bit different… Cause I lost quite a lot of blood.. Haih.. Really don’t know lar… Each of them say different thing…
Seriously nowadays find a good confinement lady is not easy… I’m not saying that this confinement lady not good… Actually the main reason why she will har all this problem is cause by one reason.. She’s too old d… Did I tell you that she’s actually 62 years old? Where actually I told the PeiLing (Daveleen) agency that I didn’t want any confinement lady that is too old.. Preferable 30-40 years old.. Before and when we sign the contract with them, they everything also ok… But once you sign it that’s it… We did call the agent and ask about.. Guess what their excuses??
They said you told me that want find one that is near to you… So that you don’t need to fetch her from KL… Hell no.. We never ever say that.. If we have that plan then I won’t arrange my parents to go their (Daveleen) head quater to pick her up… But seriously… What can I do now? Nothing… Just hope that we can communicate more with the confinement lady..
No worry.. I’m not pissed… I just feel confuse and sad… Cause even I go all the way to find the so call Confinement Expert – Daveleen or called as PeiLing (which is not so expert) to look for Confinement.. End up the confinement lady that I get is not really train… She just have lots of experience (around 18 years)…
So if I really get pregnant again… Where should I find confinement lady?? I think I won’t find anymore… Cause is really scary… Imagine your baby, your family and you are in their hand… Phew… No joke…
You can read more reviews here...
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/5/2280217.html?1269233963
After reading this person's blog...i was more sure
Conclusion of my Confinement
Lots of friend ask me the question:”How’s the nanny?”
Seriously was way too earlyto tell you guys how’s her performance.. Overall was quite OK.. Till today…
1. I realize she cook quite less dish for me to eat.. For this point I can accept… Cause she won’t know how many dish I want to eat.. Solution: So I told her yesterday.. Every time she can try cook three dishes for me to eat…
2. She overcook one of my soup… Which I bought from PeiLing… Hmm… What I concern is not the soup is the tools.. I wonder did she spoil it
3. The way she bath with E Zen is a bit too clumsy.. I still yet to set it by myself… This is according to my mum description.. I think will have to go see the way she help E Zen take bath soon
4. She got memory problem.. She often don’t remember what she had told me… Why I say so?A. She told me that she will prepare the water for me to take bath on Day 9 around 12pm.. End up i wait till 4pm she still didn’t prepare and around 4pm suddenly rain.. So there goes muly bathing section… B. I told her lots of time to help E Zen take bath with the med I bought from PeiLing.. She keep forgetting and keep telling me that tomorrow will take… She postpone it for three days d…C. She told me that I can’t eat cabage… End up.. Guess what she fried mee hoon with cabage for me… Of course I didn’t eat the cabage… I just put it aside… Then I ask her:” aunty I tot u said I can’t eat cabage?”. Guess what she answer me??she said:”oh cook already then can eat..” I was like.. Of course all the vege you have to cook only I can eat ma… Faint… Now I doing confinement won’t be able to eat raw food also…
5. Another problem that she have is.. She like to find excuses… Once we found the problem she made.. We tell them.. She will have an excuses for it.. Of course we get to see that is an excuses… But still…
6. She let me eat Kaya bun for snack… As what I know I can’t eat any eggs but Kaya is made of eggs right.. And with coconut as well… Faint…
7. Very forgetful… Always forgot to add alcohol in the soup that she cook for me…
8. The dishes that she cook not much variety… Always cook the same thing.. Imagine you eat the same dish for 28 days… I tot people who full with experience will know how to cook very well?
9. Always didn’t wash the tools that she used after she cook… Not sure if she’s forgetful or lazy.
10. Very clumsy… Always open the door till very loud.. There’s one time she even use the leg to kick the door… Faint… I know both of her hand taking things.. But she can actually put them aside and open the door first instead of just kick the door like that…
11. Very dirty in terms of taking care baby. One of the day I heard that ezen just past motion.. So wanted to pass him to the confinement lady to change his diaper.. End up the confinement lady wasn’t in there.. So I decided to change for him myself.. End up when I open the diaper guess what I saw in there? I saw a tissue paper in the diaper… When the confinement lady get in the I straight ask her why she put there? Guess what’s her answer? She said:“oh cause just now I see he shit not much so I pit the tissue in.. Else wasted the pampers…”
Then I replied.. Can’t like that.. Cause baby skin will get infected.. How can youdo that? Can’t because of want save the pampers money and do it that way…
Then she keep her mouth shut… Really want faint
12. She keep listen to the phone… Even when she helping ezen wearing cloth half way she will just put ezen aside and answer the phone… Now I know why ezen always sneeze after took bath..
Besides she like to find excuses.. Even the agent who I sign with… She likes to find excuses as well… When I asked my mum if I can eat Kaya or not.. She said can’t… Then I tell her just now the aunty let me eat Kaya bun.. She was quite pissed and called the agent directly… Here’s how the conversation goes:Mummy: hi agent A, want ask you if my daughter can eat any cabage?Agent A: oh cannot eat cabage ooMummy: oh then what about Kaya? Agent A: of course cannot…Mummy: OMG… Then why your confinement lady let my daughter eat this two thing?
Guess what she said then
Agent A: oh maybe the confinement lady thinks that your daughter situation is ok to eat those thing d…
What a lame excuses… Then she start push it to the confinement lady…
Agent A: we already told her and train her on what to let you and do not let you eat… We won’t know how she do it during ur confinement time… You must let her know…
I was like… Err… Ok… I can’t tahan already so I take over the phone and tell her
Cherrie: OK now I didn’t say that I want to complain anything.. I’m fine with the confinement lady… Just that I dun understand that why she let me eat those things that I not suppose to eat
Agent A: oh if u see those things that you can’t eat.. You just tell her ma..
CHERRIE: come on.. Who do I know I can’t eat those thing… I tot you all are professional and will know what I can’t eat… End up… Now she let me eat cabage and gave me lame excuses… So can I still trust your professionality?? Plus how am I suppose to know what I can or can’t eat??
Seriously other than that… She keep ask me if I want to drink MILO or not… Which I learn from the seminar I attended at Daveleen – Pei Ling while I’m still pregnant… Dr. PeiLing told us not to drink miLO that often… End up the confinement lady keep ask me want to drink MILo or not… Where’s the consistancy? Of course I didn’t tell the confinement lady what I’ve learn from the seminar… I just keep quite and told her not to prepare MILO for me…
Besides that… I still remember there’s one case… She keep telling me that we have to buy extra Chinese herb for her to cook for me… This one I’m quite confuse.. Not to say that is not good that I get extra Chinese herb other than those I bought from Daveleen… But I remember clearly the agent and the boss told me that is more than enough to just have those things we bought from them…
So I asked the confinement lady.. I tot they said is more than enough to have those herbs I bought from your company? Then she told me.. Of course not enough… If just have those herbs from our company.. Won’t be enough…
Hmm… Maybe cause my case a bit different… Cause I lost quite a lot of blood.. Haih.. Really don’t know lar… Each of them say different thing…
Seriously nowadays find a good confinement lady is not easy… I’m not saying that this confinement lady not good… Actually the main reason why she will har all this problem is cause by one reason.. She’s too old d… Did I tell you that she’s actually 62 years old? Where actually I told the PeiLing (Daveleen) agency that I didn’t want any confinement lady that is too old.. Preferable 30-40 years old.. Before and when we sign the contract with them, they everything also ok… But once you sign it that’s it… We did call the agent and ask about.. Guess what their excuses??
They said you told me that want find one that is near to you… So that you don’t need to fetch her from KL… Hell no.. We never ever say that.. If we have that plan then I won’t arrange my parents to go their (Daveleen) head quater to pick her up… But seriously… What can I do now? Nothing… Just hope that we can communicate more with the confinement lady..
No worry.. I’m not pissed… I just feel confuse and sad… Cause even I go all the way to find the so call Confinement Expert – Daveleen or called as PeiLing (which is not so expert) to look for Confinement.. End up the confinement lady that I get is not really train… She just have lots of experience (around 18 years)…
So if I really get pregnant again… Where should I find confinement lady?? I think I won’t find anymore… Cause is really scary… Imagine your baby, your family and you are in their hand… Phew… No joke…
You can read more reviews here...
http://www.singaporemotherhood.com/forumboard/messages/5/2280217.html?1269233963
09 April 2010
A research on Cults: Part 3 (Unification Church)
The Unification Church is a new religious movement founded by Korean religious leader Sun Myung Moon. In 1954, the Unification Church was formally and legally established in Seoul, South Korea as The Holy Spirit Association for the Unification of World Christianity (HSA-UWC). In 1994, Moon changed the official name of the church to the Family Federation for World Peace and Unification.[1]
Members are found throughout the world, with the largest number living in South Korea or Japan.[2][3] Church membership is estimated to be several hundred thousand to a few million.[4][5] The church and its members own, operate, and subsidize organizations and projects involved in political, cultural, commercial, media, educational, and other activities. The church, its members and supporters as well as other related organizations are sometimes referred to as the "Unification Movement." In the English speaking world church members are sometimes referred to as "Moonies,"[6][7] (which is sometimes considered offensive)[8][9] church members prefer to be called "Unificationists".[10]
Unification Church beliefs are summarized in the textbook Divine Principle and include belief in a universal God; in striving toward the creation of a literal Kingdom of God on earth; in the universal salvation of all people, good and evil, living and dead; and that a man born in Korea in the early 20th century received from Jesus the mission to be realized as the second coming of Christ.[11] Members of the Unification Church believe this Messiah is Sun Myung Moon.[12]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unification_Church
There, according to reports, Moon involved his congregation in an unusual ritual known as "blood separation," during which female members of the church were required to have sex with him to cleanse themselves of Satan's influence. In 1948, North Korean authorities arrested and jailed Moon (he spent two years in a labor camp), accusing him of bigotry and adultery. Moon was finally liberated by United Nations' troops during the Korean War (1950). (Still today, Moon's sermons focus on sex and the idea of female submissiveness. In 1995, on "True Parents Day," he observed, "Woman was born to connect in love with man's sexual organ. Man and woman's sexual organs are the place of the true love palace.") After the Korean War, Moon fled to South Korea and established the Unification Church, which now claims three million members in more than 120 countries (about 40-45 thousand U.S.), but both these figures are believed by many to be grossly exaggerated. (The largest concentration of Moonies reside in Korea and Japan.) In 1956, Moon published the English version of the Divine Principle as the authoritative work of the Unification Church. (The Korean Version: "Wolli Haesol" or "Explanation of the Principle" was published on August 15th, 1957.)
http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/Cults/unificat.htm
Members are found throughout the world, with the largest number living in South Korea or Japan.[2][3] Church membership is estimated to be several hundred thousand to a few million.[4][5] The church and its members own, operate, and subsidize organizations and projects involved in political, cultural, commercial, media, educational, and other activities. The church, its members and supporters as well as other related organizations are sometimes referred to as the "Unification Movement." In the English speaking world church members are sometimes referred to as "Moonies,"[6][7] (which is sometimes considered offensive)[8][9] church members prefer to be called "Unificationists".[10]
Unification Church beliefs are summarized in the textbook Divine Principle and include belief in a universal God; in striving toward the creation of a literal Kingdom of God on earth; in the universal salvation of all people, good and evil, living and dead; and that a man born in Korea in the early 20th century received from Jesus the mission to be realized as the second coming of Christ.[11] Members of the Unification Church believe this Messiah is Sun Myung Moon.[12]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unification_Church
There, according to reports, Moon involved his congregation in an unusual ritual known as "blood separation," during which female members of the church were required to have sex with him to cleanse themselves of Satan's influence. In 1948, North Korean authorities arrested and jailed Moon (he spent two years in a labor camp), accusing him of bigotry and adultery. Moon was finally liberated by United Nations' troops during the Korean War (1950). (Still today, Moon's sermons focus on sex and the idea of female submissiveness. In 1995, on "True Parents Day," he observed, "Woman was born to connect in love with man's sexual organ. Man and woman's sexual organs are the place of the true love palace.") After the Korean War, Moon fled to South Korea and established the Unification Church, which now claims three million members in more than 120 countries (about 40-45 thousand U.S.), but both these figures are believed by many to be grossly exaggerated. (The largest concentration of Moonies reside in Korea and Japan.) In 1956, Moon published the English version of the Divine Principle as the authoritative work of the Unification Church. (The Korean Version: "Wolli Haesol" or "Explanation of the Principle" was published on August 15th, 1957.)
http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/Cults/unificat.htm
A research on Cults: Part 2 (Jevovah's Witness)
Freedom of religion in Singapore
The Constitution provides for freedom of religion; however, the Government restricted this right in some circumstances. The Government has banned the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Unification Church. The Government does not tolerate speech or actions that it deems could adversely affect racial or religious harmony. There were no reports of societal abuses or discrimination based on religious belief or practice.
Legal and policy framework
The Constitution provides for freedom of religion; however, the Government restricted this right in some circumstances. The Constitution provides that every citizen or person in the country has a constitutional right to profess, practice, or propagate his or her religious belief so long as such activities do not breach any other laws relating to public order, public health, or morality. There is no state religion.
All religious groups are subject to government scrutiny and must be registered legally under the Societies Act. The Government deregistered the country's congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses in 1972 and the Unification Church in 1982, making them unlawful societies. Such a designation makes it impossible to maintain a legal identity as a religious group, with consequences relating to owning property, conducting financial transactions, or holding public meetings.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_of_religion_in_Singapore
Separateness
Jehovah's Witnesses believe that the Bible condemns the mixing of religions, on the basis that there can only be one truth from God, and therefore reject interfaith and ecumenical movements.[231][232][233] They believe that only their religion represents true Christianity, and that all other religions fail to meet all the requirements set by God and will be destroyed.[234] Jehovah’s Witnesses are taught that it is vital to remain "separate from the world." Watch Tower publications define the "world" as "the mass of mankind apart from Jehovah’s approved servants" and teach that it is ruled by Satan and a place of danger and moral contamination.[235][236][237] Because of perceived dangers from "worldly" association,[238] Witnesses are advised to minimize social contact with non-members to better maintain their own standards of morality.[239][240][241][242][243][244]
Jehovah's Witnesses believe their highest allegiance belongs to God's kingdom, which is viewed as an actual government in heaven, with Christ as king. They remain politically neutral, do not seek public office and are discouraged from voting, though individual members may participate in uncontroversial community improvement issues.[245][246][247][248] They abstain from celebrating religious holidays and birthdays and reject many customs they believe have pagan origins. They do not work in industries associated with the military, do not serve in the armed services[249] and refuse national military service, which in some countries may result in their arrest and imprisonment.[250] They do not salute or pledge allegiance to flags or sing national anthems or patriotic songs.[251]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah's_Witnesses
Not only has the name of this cult been changed time and again, but they also change their doctrines regularly -- between 1917 and 1928, they changed their doctrines 148 times! (Prior to 1931, Jehovah's Witnesses had also gone by the names of Millennial Dawn, People's Pulpit Association, The Brooklyn Tabernacle, and the International Bible Students Association.) Russell died in 1916 and was replaced by the second president, Joseph F. Rutherford. "A process of replacing Russell's writings with Rutherford's began in 1921 with the publication of Rutherford's Harp of God. Between 1921 and 1941, Rutherford was to write twenty books and numerous pamphlets, which would slowly revise the doctrine and structure left him by Russell" (Encyclopedia of American Religions, G. Melton, Vol. 1, p. 485). One of Rutherford's books that caused a great amount of controversy was the seventh volume of the Studies in the Scriptures.
http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/Cults/jw.htm
And they are still very much active in Singapore.
If you see caucasian men in the MRT with white shirts and black pants. With a black badge and white wordings. They like to approach people on the trains. They are part of the International Bible Students Association
The Constitution provides for freedom of religion; however, the Government restricted this right in some circumstances. The Government has banned the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Unification Church. The Government does not tolerate speech or actions that it deems could adversely affect racial or religious harmony. There were no reports of societal abuses or discrimination based on religious belief or practice.
Legal and policy framework
The Constitution provides for freedom of religion; however, the Government restricted this right in some circumstances. The Constitution provides that every citizen or person in the country has a constitutional right to profess, practice, or propagate his or her religious belief so long as such activities do not breach any other laws relating to public order, public health, or morality. There is no state religion.
All religious groups are subject to government scrutiny and must be registered legally under the Societies Act. The Government deregistered the country's congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses in 1972 and the Unification Church in 1982, making them unlawful societies. Such a designation makes it impossible to maintain a legal identity as a religious group, with consequences relating to owning property, conducting financial transactions, or holding public meetings.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_of_religion_in_Singapore
Separateness
Jehovah's Witnesses believe that the Bible condemns the mixing of religions, on the basis that there can only be one truth from God, and therefore reject interfaith and ecumenical movements.[231][232][233] They believe that only their religion represents true Christianity, and that all other religions fail to meet all the requirements set by God and will be destroyed.[234] Jehovah’s Witnesses are taught that it is vital to remain "separate from the world." Watch Tower publications define the "world" as "the mass of mankind apart from Jehovah’s approved servants" and teach that it is ruled by Satan and a place of danger and moral contamination.[235][236][237] Because of perceived dangers from "worldly" association,[238] Witnesses are advised to minimize social contact with non-members to better maintain their own standards of morality.[239][240][241][242][243][244]
Jehovah's Witnesses believe their highest allegiance belongs to God's kingdom, which is viewed as an actual government in heaven, with Christ as king. They remain politically neutral, do not seek public office and are discouraged from voting, though individual members may participate in uncontroversial community improvement issues.[245][246][247][248] They abstain from celebrating religious holidays and birthdays and reject many customs they believe have pagan origins. They do not work in industries associated with the military, do not serve in the armed services[249] and refuse national military service, which in some countries may result in their arrest and imprisonment.[250] They do not salute or pledge allegiance to flags or sing national anthems or patriotic songs.[251]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah's_Witnesses
Not only has the name of this cult been changed time and again, but they also change their doctrines regularly -- between 1917 and 1928, they changed their doctrines 148 times! (Prior to 1931, Jehovah's Witnesses had also gone by the names of Millennial Dawn, People's Pulpit Association, The Brooklyn Tabernacle, and the International Bible Students Association.) Russell died in 1916 and was replaced by the second president, Joseph F. Rutherford. "A process of replacing Russell's writings with Rutherford's began in 1921 with the publication of Rutherford's Harp of God. Between 1921 and 1941, Rutherford was to write twenty books and numerous pamphlets, which would slowly revise the doctrine and structure left him by Russell" (Encyclopedia of American Religions, G. Melton, Vol. 1, p. 485). One of Rutherford's books that caused a great amount of controversy was the seventh volume of the Studies in the Scriptures.
http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/Cults/jw.htm
And they are still very much active in Singapore.
If you see caucasian men in the MRT with white shirts and black pants. With a black badge and white wordings. They like to approach people on the trains. They are part of the International Bible Students Association
A research on Cults: Part 1 (Central Christian Church)
Expert witness testifies Central Christian Church is a cult
An expert on cult studies said the Central Christian Church is a cult because it exhibited "many cultic characteristics." The expert witness, Rev. Adrian van Leen is the director of the Concerned Christians Growth Ministries, which are based in Australia and which conduct researches into religious movements. He identified the characteristics of a cult for readers. The Straits Times (Singapore) - Friday, July 18, 1997Expert witness testifies that church is a cultBy Tan Ooi BoonAn expert on cult studies said yesterday that it was appropriate to call the Central Christian Church a cult because it had exhibited "many cultic characteristics."Based on his study of the church, the Rev. Adrian van Leen, 52, said, "I am of the view that the group is disruptive and even destructive to family units." He added that the church's practices were also damaging to the emotional integrity and stability of some of its members.The expert witness is the director of the Concerned Christians Growth Ministries, which are based in Australia and which conduct researches into religious movements. He was giving evidence to support the defense's case that the editors of The New Paper, Lianhe Wanbao and Impact magazine were justified in calling the church "a cult" in 1991.Rev. van Leen is not a newcomer to the Singapore High Court. In 1994, he gave evidence on cult matters in another defamation case involving The Straits Times and a religious sect.He said yesterday that it was in the public interest for newspapers to publish reports about the Central Christian Church because the church was active and aggressive in recruiting members at places that included MRT stations and tertiary campuses.He said, in answer to defense counsel Tan Chee Meng, that the church has many practices that are found in cults.For example, he pointed out that its present suit was "wholly consistent with cultic fear and paranoia" and "a persecution complex". Former church members had also told the court that they were often rebuked by their leaders when they thought their authority was being questioned, he noted.And while mainstream churches collected donations or pledges from members, the Central Christian Church carried such a practice to extremes by keeping records of members' monthly income and their pledges, he said. The church even handed out envelopes with sections for members to mark "IOU" for pledges owed, if they did not have money on them, he added.And he could not agree with the church's's expert witness, Dr. John Gordon Melton, who said on Wednesday that the church was not a cult.The Central Christian Church and its founder, Mr. John Philip Louis, are suing the editors of The New Paper (TNP) and Liauhe Wanbao for calling it a cult in a TNP report "Concern over two cult groups" on Nov. 23, 1991, a translation of which was published in Lianhe Wanbao the same day. A Christian magazine, Impact, one of the sources of the report, is also being sued.The newspaper editors contend that the reports were accurate, and that they had a moral and social public duty to publish such information. Their lawyers are trying to prove that the church has unique and exclusive practices. The parties are expected to present their final arguments soon after the expert witnesses have given their evidence.The Rev. Adrian van Leen said the Central Christian church had many "cultic"characteristics. These include:
believing that its baptism by repentance and full immersion in water is the only true form of becoming a Christian
making members confess their sins and private thoughts to leaders
making members submit papers on how they spend their time
encouraging members to leave home to live communally
encouraging members to date and marry only fellow members
making members submit sin lists to leaders
pressuring members to recruit new members
teaching members that their church is the only true church
making attendance of all church meetings compulsory
disciplining members who question the authority of leaders
http://www.factnet.org/straits.htm
Under "What CCC Believes", it is stated that :
1. Other churches are not true congregations until they are "reconstructed"
5. Under teachings:
2. The group teaches baptismal regeneration and practices rebaptism. Only those baptised by the group are truly baptised.
3. The movement has a pyramid-type organisation, and expects total commitment to the leadership. One of their leaders was reported to have said : "Leadership is to be imitated, not evaluated."
4. Members are to confess their sins to one another. All sins including sinful thoughts are to be confessed.
5. Members are encouraged to leave their homes and live communally. Boyfriend and girlfriend relationships tend to be guided, if not determined, by the group and its leaders.
6. Under group characteristics :
6. Control is very tight. The disciple has to report to the discipler exactly how he spent his time and who he was with.
7. The article continues with extracts of interviews with two persons who had left the group. These two apparently had been members of the more conventional Christian churches. They had been attracted to the group by the warmth, openness and sincerity of its members. But they were never able to reconcile what the group taught them with what they had been taught previously, such as in the area of baptism. One of them also had difficulty accepting that CCC was the only true church. She also could not understand why the group was trying to reach out to existing Christians to get them to repent and be rebaptised. Both spoke of the emotional difficulty they experienced on leaving the group.
8. In the middle of the article is interposed a section, in a box, headed "Why People Join Cults" and the author analyses how cult groups satisfy certain basic needs of people.
9. At the end of the article, there is a note saying: "Attempts to interview the leaders of both the AOG and CCC were not successful. "
10.The Impact article was picked up by two newspapers, the New Paper and the Wan Bao.
http://www.tolc.org/sing15.htm
They have not been officially banned by the Singapore Government. But is already so active that they have a 'church' building.
Located at...
CENTRAL CHRISTIAN CHURCHSINGAPORE1 Edgefield WalkSingapore 828850(Punggol)
An expert on cult studies said the Central Christian Church is a cult because it exhibited "many cultic characteristics." The expert witness, Rev. Adrian van Leen is the director of the Concerned Christians Growth Ministries, which are based in Australia and which conduct researches into religious movements. He identified the characteristics of a cult for readers. The Straits Times (Singapore) - Friday, July 18, 1997Expert witness testifies that church is a cultBy Tan Ooi BoonAn expert on cult studies said yesterday that it was appropriate to call the Central Christian Church a cult because it had exhibited "many cultic characteristics."Based on his study of the church, the Rev. Adrian van Leen, 52, said, "I am of the view that the group is disruptive and even destructive to family units." He added that the church's practices were also damaging to the emotional integrity and stability of some of its members.The expert witness is the director of the Concerned Christians Growth Ministries, which are based in Australia and which conduct researches into religious movements. He was giving evidence to support the defense's case that the editors of The New Paper, Lianhe Wanbao and Impact magazine were justified in calling the church "a cult" in 1991.Rev. van Leen is not a newcomer to the Singapore High Court. In 1994, he gave evidence on cult matters in another defamation case involving The Straits Times and a religious sect.He said yesterday that it was in the public interest for newspapers to publish reports about the Central Christian Church because the church was active and aggressive in recruiting members at places that included MRT stations and tertiary campuses.He said, in answer to defense counsel Tan Chee Meng, that the church has many practices that are found in cults.For example, he pointed out that its present suit was "wholly consistent with cultic fear and paranoia" and "a persecution complex". Former church members had also told the court that they were often rebuked by their leaders when they thought their authority was being questioned, he noted.And while mainstream churches collected donations or pledges from members, the Central Christian Church carried such a practice to extremes by keeping records of members' monthly income and their pledges, he said. The church even handed out envelopes with sections for members to mark "IOU" for pledges owed, if they did not have money on them, he added.And he could not agree with the church's's expert witness, Dr. John Gordon Melton, who said on Wednesday that the church was not a cult.The Central Christian Church and its founder, Mr. John Philip Louis, are suing the editors of The New Paper (TNP) and Liauhe Wanbao for calling it a cult in a TNP report "Concern over two cult groups" on Nov. 23, 1991, a translation of which was published in Lianhe Wanbao the same day. A Christian magazine, Impact, one of the sources of the report, is also being sued.The newspaper editors contend that the reports were accurate, and that they had a moral and social public duty to publish such information. Their lawyers are trying to prove that the church has unique and exclusive practices. The parties are expected to present their final arguments soon after the expert witnesses have given their evidence.The Rev. Adrian van Leen said the Central Christian church had many "cultic"characteristics. These include:
believing that its baptism by repentance and full immersion in water is the only true form of becoming a Christian
making members confess their sins and private thoughts to leaders
making members submit papers on how they spend their time
encouraging members to leave home to live communally
encouraging members to date and marry only fellow members
making members submit sin lists to leaders
pressuring members to recruit new members
teaching members that their church is the only true church
making attendance of all church meetings compulsory
disciplining members who question the authority of leaders
http://www.factnet.org/straits.htm
Under "What CCC Believes", it is stated that :
1. Other churches are not true congregations until they are "reconstructed"
5. Under teachings:
2. The group teaches baptismal regeneration and practices rebaptism. Only those baptised by the group are truly baptised.
3. The movement has a pyramid-type organisation, and expects total commitment to the leadership. One of their leaders was reported to have said : "Leadership is to be imitated, not evaluated."
4. Members are to confess their sins to one another. All sins including sinful thoughts are to be confessed.
5. Members are encouraged to leave their homes and live communally. Boyfriend and girlfriend relationships tend to be guided, if not determined, by the group and its leaders.
6. Under group characteristics :
6. Control is very tight. The disciple has to report to the discipler exactly how he spent his time and who he was with.
7. The article continues with extracts of interviews with two persons who had left the group. These two apparently had been members of the more conventional Christian churches. They had been attracted to the group by the warmth, openness and sincerity of its members. But they were never able to reconcile what the group taught them with what they had been taught previously, such as in the area of baptism. One of them also had difficulty accepting that CCC was the only true church. She also could not understand why the group was trying to reach out to existing Christians to get them to repent and be rebaptised. Both spoke of the emotional difficulty they experienced on leaving the group.
8. In the middle of the article is interposed a section, in a box, headed "Why People Join Cults" and the author analyses how cult groups satisfy certain basic needs of people.
9. At the end of the article, there is a note saying: "Attempts to interview the leaders of both the AOG and CCC were not successful. "
10.The Impact article was picked up by two newspapers, the New Paper and the Wan Bao.
http://www.tolc.org/sing15.htm
They have not been officially banned by the Singapore Government. But is already so active that they have a 'church' building.
Located at...
CENTRAL CHRISTIAN CHURCHSINGAPORE1 Edgefield WalkSingapore 828850(Punggol)
08 April 2010
To the little me
I am so happy you are in my life.
You seem so peaceful and secured inside the cocoon.
You have a way of taking care of yourself, even though mummy has been sick.
As long as there is life in me, i want to ensure that you get to come out into this world safely.
Many people are eager to meet you.
Your mummy and daddy.
Your grandparents.
Your grandaunties and many many more people who wants to be your godmothers.
Also uncle cat.
I hope for you to be a happy child.
That you would bring joy to all those around you, especially your parents.
I hope for you to be a good reflection of who your parents are.
That all who meet you will know that we have raised you well.
I don't seem to know much about motherhood.
But the sight of your forming tiny body, i cant help having the motherlyness oozing out of me.
Continue to grow healthily little baby.
We will see you very soon.
You seem so peaceful and secured inside the cocoon.
You have a way of taking care of yourself, even though mummy has been sick.
As long as there is life in me, i want to ensure that you get to come out into this world safely.
Many people are eager to meet you.
Your mummy and daddy.
Your grandparents.
Your grandaunties and many many more people who wants to be your godmothers.
Also uncle cat.
I hope for you to be a happy child.
That you would bring joy to all those around you, especially your parents.
I hope for you to be a good reflection of who your parents are.
That all who meet you will know that we have raised you well.
I don't seem to know much about motherhood.
But the sight of your forming tiny body, i cant help having the motherlyness oozing out of me.
Continue to grow healthily little baby.
We will see you very soon.
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