Be just like your daddy

Besides the insomnia that keeps me awake, i guess being a mother to a child makes you rethink your whole life.

These nights i lie in bed thinking about the difficult parts of my life. Especially mistakes.

I think about the career paths i have chosen and where i have moved to currently. There were many 'what ifs' fleeting through my head.

Then there's relationships i wished i never stepped into. Why did i do it? Although the suffering and pain does not affect me now, it would be better if i did not go through them.

Curious, i got out of bed to check out how they are doing now. Maybe Facebook account photos? How did they look now? Are they married like me? Are they happy or still ruining someone else's life?

I managed to find a couple of photos and was thinking..."Did i really fall in love with this guy?" Truthfully, i would not even consider him if i were to see what he looks like now.

I thought of how i was treated by all these men. And then i thought about the husband i have who tries to cook dinner for me. Even when i complain his food is tasteless.

And the same husband who holds out a hand for me when i search for the bed in the dark.

Suddenly, a gush a love floods into my heart for this man. Thankful is the word i can use to describe how i felt at this moment.

I remembered laughing at how he was over confident of himself few days ago.

We were talking about my father who sets a bad example for our unborn son. And how i hoped our son will not adopt the bad habits my father has.

He replied," Don't worry, i'll make sure our son will turn out like me."

And now, thinking of how these men who had made my life miserable. And wishing my son will never be like anyone of them.

I agree too. I tell the son in my tummy,"Please be like your daddy when you grow up. Treat women with respect and do not treat women like how those bad men hurt mummy. Be a man that loves God and be just like your daddy."

I turned to kiss the snoring man on the bed and found myself blissfully sleepy.