Man eating Singapore

A newspaper article ones read,"That the average Singaporean couple, should start applying for a HDB flat when they are dating for 1 yr. So by the time they want to get married when they have dated 2 - 3 years, they would have a flat ready in another 2 - 3 years."

When you plan for a wedding dinner, your parents are planning on how many tables worth of profit they would wanna get from you. And who bears the remaining cost? The newly weds. Who's to prevent your first biggest quarrel of your new life as a married couple? You can't

In Singapore, its like a rat race in everything you do. Kiasu is bred not a choice we make. Even before my child in born, i would have to be in a waiting list for infant care services.

A statistics shows that an average of 70% of babies born are already born into a debt filled life. HDB loans, car loans etc.

And with all these money money money issues, we have parents or in-laws who are dying to make a quick buck out from the miserable salaries we have. Especially being newly weds, you are starting out all on your own. And with a baby on the way, the demands will not cease.

I was having lunch with some of my colleagues yesterday. Nadine was obviously bothered by something and she had lost all her mood to eat. Her mother in-law who have agreed to care for her infant daughter, has suddenly demanded for money to go for a holiday. And justifying it by saying it would be for payment taking care of Nadine's daughter.

In Singapore, to raise a child is equivalent to paying for a HBD flat or a car. So does her mother in-law think they are a money tree?

Selina added,"I have been paying my mum $650 a month to care for my son. And that does not include pampers or things my child needs."

Her husband mentions one day,"You know when you send a child to infant care, it cost about $1300 and once the child goes child care, the fees drop by half. But how come there is no drop of fees for your mum, but it seems to be getting higher and higher?"

I reflected on what i would do if one day i offered to care for my grandchild. Apart from the allowance that my children would give me for my daily expenses, i would not be expecting a salary for caring for my grandchild. Needless to say, the child's expenses should be covered by the child's parents.

So why should parents demand for a fee when they have agreed to care for their own grandchild? And the fee they charge will only get higher as the year goes. No government subsidy, no usage of baby bonus.

In the end, is it a advantage or disadvantage?

That's why i am glad i've made my choice to send my child to an infant care. Where i get rebates and subsidy. And never having to face problems of what my colleagues are facing.

In a man eat man Singapore, its sad that the man eating culprits are our own parents. They know what its like to start a family. You need money. You need to stabilise your expenses. New house, new baby and new responsibilities. And you don't want be the type of couple that quarrels about money. Especially when the money problem comes from your own parents.

With that, why then will these parents wanna contribute to your burdens when they went through it themselves?

A reflection: When it's my turn to be a mother in-law or grandma, remember the heart aches i suffered and never do it back to my child. That's how you age gracefully and your child will feel that its a joy to care for elderly parents. And not an annoying elderly who is out to take more money from them.