Ties that can be broken

The blood ties between parent and child will never be broken. When a parent abandons a child, forever it will still remain that you are the mother who gave birth to this child. Even in death, this person is still your mother. The same goes for the ties bound between siblings. No matter how you hate them, they are still your brother or sister. It's things you cant choose. You cant choose your parents or siblings.

That's how easily, we take these relationships for granted. Because no matter how many times you shout at your parents, or break their hearts and disappoint them, they will still be there for you. No matter how many times you have cold wars with your siblings or tell yourself you wanna have nothing to do with them anymore, you cant escape the fact that, your brother is still your brother.

A friend once said, that being married is like having another family member in your life. Everyday is like a day with your parents or siblings. Not everyday is exciting and can be even boring at times. But that's family life.

Right now, i am starting to think otherwise. You did not choose your parents or siblings. Your relationship are bound by blood. Nothing can break it.

However, you choose your lifetime partner. Though you may be bound in your souls. You are not bound by blood. And for this modern society of rights and free will, marriage is bound legally by a piece of paper which can be broken.

I've learnt in marriage counselling sessions that when 2 becomes 1, they have to leave their parents and these 2 must become their own family. Parents gotta learn not to interfere with how this new family leads their new life as husband and wife. The son must now be the head of the family and cleave to his wife. And no longer run to his father or mother for help.

In principle, if every married couple were to follow this, it will solve much of the quarrels related to in-law interferences. Or when the son is caught between mother and wife.

But why is it so important to make sure that the 2 is a new family unit and no longer includes parents?

This is where i believe i've gotten my revelation.

It is more important to take steps to make your marriage work because unlike blood ties, this tie can be broken. Which is why wives get into this paranoia of their husbands leaving them for another woman. In life there are temptations. If there are times you wish you had better parents, there will also be times you wished you had a better husband. But the difference is that, when you wish for better parents, you know you don't have a choice. You are stuck with them. But when you wish you have a better husband, if you are determined enough, things can be done to have a better husband.

"...I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death us do part..."

Neither your parents or siblings needed to say theses vows when you came into this world. Even in bible times, divorce was permitted. And evidently, the vows says it all. It's not easy to build your marriage and hold it down on a strong foundation. Making your marriage work. Work suggest effort, pain and labour.

In good times and in bad...
In farting, snoring and in burpings, i will still accept you.

I will love you and honor you all the days of my life...
I will not put you down and learn to appreciate the things you have done. Even though they are not up to my standards.

For better, for worse...
Even when there are days i just can't seem to love you, i will still try my best.

Therefore, make your marriage work. Your mother can say this, his mother can say that. Stand up for your marriage because it needs to be laid with strong foundation. It can be broken and therefore needed to be treated with care. You must understand too that it takes 2 to make it work. And it takes 2 to hold the importance of your marriage vows. Few sentences but it holds the secrets on how you can make it work ...till death do us part

What my friend said about marriage life seems so wrong now. We cannot take for granted our relationship as husband and wife, like how we take our relationships with our parents and siblings. We must make effort to daily understand, love more and build a strong marriage that will last till death.

Honor your marriage vows and make your marriage work.