Letters to my son - Part 4

What i loved so much, when i was dating your father, was his family. To be precise, your Nai Nai's relatives. Unpretentious, welcoming and united. Since young, i've always wondered, what is it i see in other families that i don't see in mine?

In mine, there is a fear in you to be wrong. You will be punished severely. There is no openness. There are many under currents. I've always yearned for a family of my own. That i can rebuilt with good values. Which i believe i have now.

When i was Primary 3, your Papa Val was getting married. Your Jiu Jiu and i were to be the flower girl and page boy. We shared the bed with my Su Su( Your dad's step brother). He sexually molested me during the night and i told this to your grandparents. Nothing was done. For many years in my adolescence, i would wonder what i've done wrong that would make my parents feel difficult to believe what i said. And defend me. I grew up insecure and became a child who had a golden mouth.
Till the day your grandparents got a divorce, your Yi Po asked your grandfather, why did you not do anything?
His reply was,"Both side also flesh how to help?" For me that answer shows that by hiding the truth, you help the culprit. I cried when i heard that answer. Because my father did not make the coice to protect me, his daughter.

You are a child of God. The bible gives wise tips on how a family should be run. They are wise tips because when you think about it, all these prevents family conflicts. Like how it tells that all newly married couples should move out of their family home and start their own home.

How many unnecessary quarrels happens when you live with your in-laws? It also tells of how after husband and wife becomes one, they are a new body. New family. Therefore, your wife, your children have become your immediately family members. And sadly but truly, your parents have become secondary family members. That will also solve problems of when mother in-laws insisting of how your house should be done, how you should bring up your child...And your grandfather, unable to decide which side of his flesh is closer.

Before you are married, you put your family first. After you are married, your wife and children is your new family. And you put them first. Discover for yourself the wise tips in the bible. That can save your family and marriage from problems.